For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
