If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
