she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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