Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
