That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm at about main and main street
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
