Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
