I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
