and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's never too late to be topless.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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