STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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