Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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