I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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