nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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