i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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