just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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