He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
