He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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