I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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