sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize