I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
