last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my shit smells like andre
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i think my cat just said my name.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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