Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm like, not good at living.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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