you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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