you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize