I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
