Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
