I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is my gift to your gina
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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