Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
