You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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