so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
