Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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