piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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