I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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