The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Who died my cat blue again?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
