Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
