The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
