honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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