so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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