taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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