i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
