dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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