Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize