Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
