last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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