Do you still have your period?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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