Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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