i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
