allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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