They should really pass out barf bags in church
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize