She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
