we have officially lost it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
