you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
