Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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