Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
