Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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