so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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