when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
