I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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