it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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