I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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