i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
