I think I died a long time ago.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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