this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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