just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
